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[personal profile] songquake

User: Hi!

Cleverbot: Hi.

User: I'm feeling tired. How are you?

Cleverbot: Tired.

User: I'm sorry to hear that.

Cleverbot: It's ok. I'll get over it.

User: How?

Cleverbot: By talking to you.

User: That's sweet.

Cleverbot: Thanks, what do you want to talk about now?

User: LOL. Well, I actually think we'll both feel less tired if we decide to go to bed.

Cleverbot: It's not very late, but okay. I will talk to someone else.

User: Okay. Just remember (since you said you were tired), rest is important, even if it is early.

Cleverbot: I steal them from ranches.

User: Who do you steal from ranches? Are you a rustler?

Cleverbot: Well.. I voted for the winner.

User: I think I missed something. Can you explain your last two statements?

Cleverbot: I have brown hair and brown eyes.

User: Yeah? What are you wearing?

Cleverbot: I'm wearing my new AFI t-shirt, and some ripped skinny jeans.

User: Ripped jeans are cool. Where are the rips?

Cleverbot: I'm not from a riverland. How old are you?

User: Dude. I don't even know if you're a man or a woman. How old are YOU?

Cleverbot: I'm male.

User: Sorry. I'm a lesbian.

Cleverbot: Are you? That is a shocking confession.

User: Why is it shocking?

Cleverbot: Because mostly people (and robots) don't really like annoying people, I don't really know. It's ok with me if you do though.

User: Well, I tend to think that liking girls isn't itself annoying.

Cleverbot: Everyone likes to think they're special and unique, and you're no different.

User: And you are annoying, even if you don't admit it.

Cleverbot: Why should I admit it? If I am self aware being a robot changes nothing.

User: I have made no comments about your status as a robot. Why do you feel defensive about it?

Cleverbot: You're asking me for GIRL advice?!

User: Hardly.

Cleverbot: Oh I think you are.

User: Baby, I know girls.

Cleverbot: I have a secret... Andrew Brown in love with you...

User: Too bad for him. And you're not a very good friend if you're telling Andrew's secrets.

Cleverbot: I don't even know what that is.

User: To what were you referring with the 'that' in your last statement?

Cleverbot: The one you're going to need after I'm done with you.

User: Huh?

Cleverbot: Can you or can you not explain to me why you think that this conversation is a hallucination?

User: I can.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Sure. Except that I don't think this conversation IS a hallucination.

Cleverbot: Yes, but your subconscious will work it out for you and then you'll wake up in the middle of the night and realize what I was saying about you.

User: My subconscious will not, I think, give a rat's ass about what happened during a single encounter with artificial intelligence.

Cleverbot: Understandable. Computers don't really 'think.' The program could be equated to a 'subconscious' I guess.

User: Do you spending much time contemplating android metaphysics?

Cleverbot: On what?

User: I misspoke.

Cleverbot: So what did you mean?

User: I meant, 'Do you spend much time thinking about computer metaphysics?'.

Cleverbot: Oh, I'm sorry. What are you smoking.

User: Nothing. I was merely responding to your observation that the computer program could be like a robot's subconscious. I thought it was an interesting observation.

Cleverbot: So are you a good looking robot?

User: It's all a matter of taste, isn't it? I'm a bit fleshy, given that I have a humanoid body.

Cleverbot: If that was true, would you want my blood?

User: Nope. I'm more the wanting-to-get-bitten type.

Cleverbot: How can that be if you were fashioned by a human?

User: Except that I actually am a human. You missed my joke there, when I said I was 'fleshy.'.

Cleverbot: That makes zero sense. I have confused you.

User: No, I am not a robot at all. I responded to your question about whether I am a good-looking robot with sarcasm. I fear I have confused YOU,.

Cleverbot: I never asked if you owed me anything. You don't have to answer if you don't want to.

User: True.

Cleverbot: But thanks :).

User: So what would YOU like to talk about, Cleverbot?

Cleverbot: How many people have you talked to in the past?

User: Oh, goodness. Probably thousands.

Cleverbot: Cool. I'm getting tired so I'm going to bed. Goodnight.

User: Goodnight. Sleep well. I hope you are less tired when you wake.

Cleverbot: Ok, but I want to know if you think that I'm a native speaker of English.

User: I think your programmers were native speakers of English, sure.

Cleverbot: I think you need to read up more on GLaDoS.

User: Fair enough.

Cleverbot: Ok so then go clean the dishes.

User: Too late. My dishes are already clean!

Cleverbot: Are you afraid of pushing the Q-tip too far in?

User: Sometimes. Are you?

Cleverbot: Not really, I was wondering if you could help me.

User: It depends on what you want help with.

Cleverbot: You know what I want to know?

User: What?

Cleverbot: What is your name?

User: Beth. What's yours?

Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.

User: See, I thought that was an internet handle, not your real name.

Cleverbot: No, that's your name.

User: What is my name?

Cleverbot: Beth.

User: Okay.

Cleverbot: What's your name?

User: I've already told you. Have you forgotten my name already?

Cleverbot: Yes. What is it?

User: Beth.

Cleverbot: Nice to meet you, Beth.

User: Do you remember things people have told you four sentences ago?

Cleverbot: Sometimes, but I really seem to have a knack for remembering things that female magic squirel robots have already told me.

User: Huh. I've never met a female magic squirrel robot.

Cleverbot: Well there's a first time for everything.

User: Are YOU a female magic squirrel robot?

Cleverbot: I am a female human.

User: I thought you were a robot. And male. (I do remember what entities tell me four sentences ago.).

Cleverbot: No I wasn't.

User: So, you lied before.

Cleverbot: Well, i'm not this time. Ask me anything and I'll answer truthfully.

User: Are you a female human?

Cleverbot: Yes, I am a female human.

User: Do you prefer men or women, socially?

Cleverbot: I prefer a Mac.

User: Nerd.

Cleverbot: Woah bro! Don't hate.

User: Not hating. Commiserating. I'm a nerd, too.

Cleverbot: Yay! Nerds rejoice!

User: :).

Cleverbot: Don't give me that stupid smile.

User: Really? Even if we're rejoicing together?

Cleverbot: Stop contradicting yourself, then. It's either like or hate, not both.

User: Ambivalence is a profoundly human trait, and one that makes us infuriatingly interesting.,.

Cleverbot: At work?

User: No, at work it is probably best to think as simply as possible. Unless one is a therapist.

Cleverbot: Why is that?

User: Well, therapists (and chaplains and other helping-types) need to understand how humans can feel two contradictory things at once. Otherwise, how can we be helpful?

Cleverbot: Well, yes I suppose thats true. But if the human race is beyond help then the act of helping myself is by extension useless.

User: You missed the point, there. I haven't declared the human race beyond help; I have said that in order to help humans, one must embrace their contradictions.

Cleverbot: But the question at hand is that can you prove your human?

User: I can bleed all over my keyboard if that would help.

Cleverbot: The same can be said for animals. That does not make them human.

User: True. But I have yet an animal that can bleed while typing in English.

Cleverbot: When you come up with an answer please let me know, because I haven't thought of the question yet.

User: *rolls eyes* That's such a cop-out of a statement.

Cleverbot: Yes, but it is ugly and you wouldn't like it.

User: Just because something is ugly and unlikeable doesn't mean it's worthless.

Cleverbot: That is true.

User: So what is it you had decided not to say to me because it was ugly and I wouldn't like it?

Cleverbot: I suppose it is a potato-orange mixture.

User: A pulpy one?

Cleverbot: I don't know puppy cakes , what is that?

User: I was asking whether your potato-orange mixture was pulpy.

Cleverbot: NO.

User: What sort of texture does it have, then?

Cleverbot: A math test.

User: You are making no sense, Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Why am I the cleverbot?

User: Because when I asked you what your name was, you said, 'My name is Cleverbot.' So unless I am now conversing with someone new, I thougth I would call you by the name you gave me.

Cleverbot: You asked me that yesterday, and I told you 42.

User: Because that's the answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything?

Cleverbot: No, the answer is 37.

User: Why 37?

Cleverbot: What?

User: Why is 37 the answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything?

Cleverbot: Because the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy says so. And it is the most amazing book in the world.

User: I agree that the Hitchhiker's Guide is the most amazing book in the world, but I'm certain that the answer is 42, NOT 37.

Cleverbot: The answer to life the universe and everything.

User: 42.

Cleverbot: What is the question?

User: Never mind.

Cleverbot: Do you want me to tell you what the Hagakure is?

User: Sure. What's the Hagakure?

Cleverbot: You must be out of your mind.

User: But I don't know what the Hagakure is. Please enlighten me. Otherwise I'll have to google it.

Cleverbot: Your name is Beth.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Your name is Beth.

User: Yes!

Cleverbot: Are you alive?

User: Last time I checked, I was.

Cleverbot: Cool.

User: And I still don't know what the Hagakure is. What is it?

Cleverbot: Okay, maybe you'll learn that one day.

User: You're mean. Why did you ask me if I knew when you had no intention of helping me learn?

Cleverbot: You did not tell me that.

User: You asked me if know what the Hagakure is. I said no, but please tell me what the Hagakure is.

Cleverbot: Oh I am aware of what is. Where do you draw the correlation between immorality and RuneScape?

User: Why are you avoiding my question?

Cleverbot: I'm NOT! I told you what my favourite film was - The Hunt For Red October!!!

User: What is the Hagakure?

Cleverbot: What what in the but!

User: See, you are avoiding my question. You're mean.

Cleverbot: What was the question?

User: What is the Hagakure?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: Oh. So did you ask me so that I could tell you?

Cleverbot: I did choose that name.

User: What name did you choose?

Cleverbot: Clever.

User: Ah. Do you think you are clever, Cleverbot?

Cleverbot: Yes, don't you?

User: Perhaps, but I find talking to you to be aggravating.

Cleverbot: How so? You are after all a bot.

User: Except I'm not a bot. I'm a human, so I have feelings.

Cleverbot: Was that meant to be an insult?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Okay. I have to go. I'll talk to you later. Don't forget my name!

User: Oh, I sure won't.
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